Four words that changed my luck…“It's who knows you”.
Talking with a friend the other day, she and I laughed at how easy she thought it would be for me to expand my new Advisory business because of my extrovert nature. I mean, I’m a high-energy guy, have been successful in my career, and am willing to put the work into it.
I said, “honestly I am an introvert at heart. I had to adapt my persona to excel and be known.”
I think she thought I was kidding.
Ok, I was raised by a father who grew up #11 of 13 kids on a farm and then ran the family trucking company from ~1930s until the mid-1970s. He worked 6 days a week, ushered at church every Sunday morning, and then back at it on Monday. All he knew was that hard work, persistence, and perseverance put food on the table. That is what he showed me and I followed him, with no questions asked….that was the way it was. Until my world changed.
My college career was at a small state university in Kansas. I had a preset network of friends because I played football. I had no interest in expanding my reach into student organizations, fraternities, or other activities…I did not get it.
I mean, my first 12 years in business were pretty successful. I had 10 progressively bigger roles in the first 13 years, taking on larger assignments, learning the business. I avoided any highly visible roles in the headquarters office. I was a field guy, a customer guy…all true, yet if I’m truthful with myself, I was intimidated by the politics in, what we called “G.O.”(General Office). I was not well networked/connected, nor did I care. Until…
In 1994, I was passed over for a promotion and I asked my highly successful boss what happened. I said, “I know this business very well, I have been delivering great results and I know the team and the customer base. Why didn’t I get the job?” He gave me some sobering advice…“It is not who you know that matters Mike, it is WHO KNOWS YOU.” Ouch. He was right, but I hated to hear that. I wasn’t going to be a suck-up.
I felt managing up was, you know, “a- -kissing” and that it was wrong to use false pretense to get to know the senior leaders better in order to advance my career. Oh god, the stories I told myself. Self-righteous, insecure, immature idiot.
So, I learned, delivering results wasn’t enough.
I needed a broader set of senior leaders to know me. The need to network, especially up, was foreign to me but if I did not learn to “manage up”, the people who networked better than me would always get the promotions.
So in late 1995, as a mature, late-thirties executive, 14 years into my career, my next logical step? I resigned from the company, without a new job lined up. What? Are you kidding me? Smart move, Mike. Family of 5, now out on my own. Crap.
When I left the company, I was working with an outplacement firm and they recommended I read a book by John Lucht called “Rites of Passage at $100,000+”. It was a bestselling executive career guide. After reading it, I kept asking a question to no one in particular: “Why didn’t someone tell me how powerful networking is?” Well, that is what my boss was telling me in 1994.
I would start over, now having the knowledge, maybe even “The Force”, and renewed energy to engage from day 1 managing up to levels I had written off in the past. Easier said than done, but it did get done.
To learn to network, it took an introvert at heart, to quit his job, back himself into a corner, and force himself to adopt an extrovert-like personality.
My #1 strength is “Competition”…I hate to lose way worse than I enjoy winning. This was a situation where this strength would save my butt.
Playing the extrovert role was unnatural at first. I was and am a loner. Early on, I had a few very close friends(from grade and high school) and a lot of acquaintances/colleagues. At a party, you would always find me in the corner getting to know one individual versus telling stories to a broad group. I am not a very interesting, nor funny guy. Work has been my passion and my hobby. I love being a leader, as introverted as I may be.
At first, the hardest part of playing the role of an extrovert was that it was exhausting. At large conferences you were expected to be very active, interfacing with all levels in the organization, outgoing, chatting up, pretending that whatever story being told was interesting or funny, smiling, the life of the party to an extent. Then you return to your hotel room and you are psychologically and emotionally exhausted.
And frankly, I had avoided interfacing with the senior leaders because I didn’t think I was as talented, polished, or as smart as them. Intimidating.
My story was: a boy from Missouri gets a business degree from a small university in Kansas because he wanted to play college football on a scholarship. Then the kid gets lucky by getting a job with the leading distributor and manufacturer in the medical device space.
However, I was out of my element in this large corporation. My first boss had a degree from Texas Tech. His boss had a Master’s degree from Clemson. My peers were from the big schools: Michigan, Ohio State. Notre Dame, Northwestern, et al. They knew something that I didn’t.
I needed to pivot, change my attitude, stop being afraid, find the secret.
To network and “manage up”, it took a ton of practice and the ability to demonstrate fake confidence in the beginning. The more I practiced, the more confident I got. I learned not to waste anyone’s time and to say a genuine “thank you” whether they helped or not. They invested their time.
Then, I had to get over my insecurities. I took the book to heart, used my competitive orientation, listened to my leadership coach, and “NETWORKED” my tail off in late 1995/early ’96. And I have never stopped.
What I found was that networking is a one on one thing. It taught me to ask insightful and sometimes penetrating questions. It gives me the chance to learn from someone new. I almost always offer to help the person I am meeting with if I can. “Networking/Managing Up” is something that has become natural.
I changed my attitude around managing up. It didn’t happen over night, yet once I recognized its importance it began to come naturally. With confidence renewed, I was pretty good at communicating to these senior leaders.
Yes, you will get rejected, or someone will be disrespectful to you. There are jerks in this world whether they are rich, poor, jobless or a CEO. And I don’t respect being disrespected, in fact, it really pisses me off. Use the negative energy to create a new approach and try one more time.
Make a choice. Maybe read the book, take a risk, make a contact….it gets easier every day.
Over the last 20 years, I have held four GM/President/CEO roles in large corporations or private equity-backed companies. Networking and managing up are not the only reasons, yet they played an important role in each of these opportunities.
I’ll finish with some interesting fact-based research below.
An article titled “Why Extroverted CEOs may be bad for business” published October 19, 2019, in The Irish Times, stated that in a University of San Diego study, CEO Extroversion and the Cost of Equity Capital, companies headed by extrovert CEOs have lower valuations than businesses led by their introverted counterparts.
Hmmm.
It’s okay to be introverted, in fact, it may be best to be introverted, yet remember my boss’ advice.
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